Andrew Auernheimer - Please Help Me [tekst, tłumaczenie i interpretacja piosenki]

Tires SCREECH outside. Dude 2 stands up. There's a small crash outside

Yelling

VOICE: FREEZE!

GUNSHOTS

The Boy and Dude 2 look at each other, except Dude 2 is now a giant Gummy bear

That happened in the last two seconds or so

The Boy doesn’t know; the gunshot must have changed everything

The Boy:
Aren’t you going to go check...are you pineapple?

Dude 2/Gummy Bear (D2GB from hereon out) looks at The Boy with his lifeless, smooshy eyes

D2GB pulls out an iPhone 5C (yellow-flavored) and starts taking video, sideways

D2GB:
*wigglejiggle* “...your fucked.”

The Boy:
'RE...what?

D2GB:
Junior

D2GB pulls gun up to The Boy’s forehead and OHKOs him

VO:
WORLDSTAR!

(Black slate.)

(Cam Show-style “Kill Cam” comes up with “Abella Anderson live Cam” written in the top left corner)

During the Cam Show we can see Someone’s whole life, from when Someone is born, through his time on the bus, driving up to Oakland, kissing Samantha Duenas, scattering his father’s ashes in Amsterdam, watching a boy get shot in the head by cops in Atlanta, staring down the barrel of D2GB’s gun

It loops. It is a GIF

INT- Apartment

Elle Varner watching the KillCam.gif on laptop, smiling

She shares the link to the GIF on Facebook

“This boy STARVING #noheain’teatintho...”

She switches over to a game of online Connect 4 (against an opponent named 3nidadJ). She just got 4’d.(smh)

Elle:
Motherfu-

INT- PENTHOUSE - NIGHT

Yaphet Kotto wakes up, shivering and afraid. He is wearing aviator goggles. There is a Rap Genius "New Song" page open on the laptop in front of him. The text in the boxes read:

Title: You Have To Help Me
Primary Artist: Kurt Vonnegut

*******[PLAY SONG "LIFE: THE BIGGEST TROLL" AT THIS POINT]*******