Matter fact
When I die I wanna go to hell
Cause I’m a piece of shit it ain’t hard to tell
Mr. B.I.G. might understand
That I need a way to leave, I need a plan
And I think that I’ve found the final solution
A big “fuck you” for this spawned illusion
I don’t have it in me to pull the trigger
So trick someone else, see if their bigger
Let them put the bullet in my brain
Let them take the weight, let them feel the pain
This is my suicidal thoughts
But unlike biggie I’ve got the plot
I just connect the dots, make them fire the shots
End up in a trunk of some parking lot
And it seems like nobody else gets it
Is that true or am I misdirected?
Is there a reason your minds are protected?
Or is it just that I can’t suspect it?
I feel like everyone’s demented
Cause this world is falling apart and no cement is
Gonna hold it together and be content kid
Most are down on their knees to pay the rent its
A sad existence, pointless living
When no one cares to give, what’s worth giving?
A nickel, a dollar, a dime, hope in the form of a rhyme
Or something making sunshine less sublime
My world is dark, my thoughts are endless
Demons on my shoulder, they breathe horrendous
I need to escape but these walls are falling
I’ve been through thick and thin, my end is crawling
Standing at the top as the moment’s stalling
I’m trying not to fall but the pavements calling
And so, I sit alone in a dark room
Writing my fate in iron, stark tomb
Iron irony, my thoughts are far strewn
An open wound, though my mind will be dark soon
And like a cartoon, everything’s exaggerated
And have I stated it’s overrated that magic made it?
I contemplated, why tired and ragged traded
The fame and fortune, for the bag that waited
Unrelated, devastated prayed it, tragically
Thoughts I evaded, for jaded by catastrophe
And half of me, is naturally
A passing plea for life that’s passing me
And do I have to be, the one that never wins?
I’m lost in a circle, round and round I spin
I’m lost in my thoughts, and I’m back near the fin
It’s me vs. the world and my back is pinned
They slowly killed my kin, one of a kind
But Velazquez couldn’t paint my frame of mind
It’s a painful kind; still the sane man’s trying
To stay a step ahead, instead they find
That fate is fortified, by the darkest creatures
And its state is sworn to hide in the farthest reaches
I seem to understand what no man teaches
And I can barely keep it as my own damn secret
This fire, I feed it, I’m spitting lighter fluid
Still it’ll never be shared because I’m scared to do it
And intuit is telling me just to screw it
I’m never gonna make it, might as well have blew it
I need to escape but the roof’s collapsing
I’ve tried to stop the lies, it’s all unmasking
Swept it all aside till it all comes crashing
I’ve left without goodbyes, but the cars keep passing
My life is a scratched record, just keeps repeating
My reasons for living are steeply depleting
On my sanity demons are feeding
No clue what to do, I didn’t read the reading
Matter fact, I never seemed to give a shit
Looking back, I always knew it ended quick
Daydreams made me, want to abandon ship
Showing me what I wanted, but could never get
Plus suicide is up like 60 percent
Tragedy is bound to happen, nothing to prevent
Life’s filled with up and downs, mines constant descent
And so I write these fucking songs so that I can vent
And I’m not being melodramatic
Reality is calling, but I can’t seem to grab it
I’m in my own world, appointed king of the havoc
My life is pointless, not even a reason to even have it
So I rip another grav hit, to understand
How we can live life not giving a damn
How we can still write about the chicks and grams
And glitz and glam when all of this’ at hand
It angers me man, I just, I can’t explain it
Like I obtain the pain and just contain it
Like sadness is running through my veins it’s
Taking over my mind, I feel insane it’s
Adding to the flame, I’m burning down the land
Walking the streets unleaded gasoline in hand
And damn, it’s like Decaprio planted the seed
Cause my mind’s determined to be free
And I need to escape but my heart is vacant
I’ve seen the side that’s green, and I’m adjacent
I’m finally letting free, my mind’s been patient
I’m about to be at peace, salutations
