Epic rap battles of history - Adam vs eve [tekst, tłumaczenie i interpretacja piosenki]

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY
ADAM VS EVE
BEGIN!

[Eve]
This battles gonna end like every argument does
With you kissing my ass and begging me for a rub
I made a map motherfucker and I'm reading it too
Gives me specific directions how to fuck with you

I know that you like to think you're so macho
But you smell like ball sacks and nachos
I work while you and your boyfriend Steve
Drink and play sports in a fantasy league

You're as sharp as a stick that I rub on my lips
So go ahead take a shot I'm sure that you'll miss
Like the laundry, the toilet, the grocery list
If you'd stop fucking up i wouldn't have to get pissed

[Adam]
My life was fine 'til you had to come along and wreck it
Could you please just shut your face for 10 seconds

You cry about everything
Cause you can't decide what you want
I'm hungry, I'm fat, I'm cold, I'm hot

You call it a complex
But yo, I'd call you a mess
You take two hours to cum
Three more to get dressed

You got a lotion for this you got a cream for that
Got any perfume that smells like get the fuck off my back?

When things are good they're great and it's like I'm dreaming
Until your junk starts bleeding and you turn to a demon

It ain't Summer Eve don't try to play me like a douche
You wanna bite on my fruit well you can swallow the truth

[Eve]
Don't even bring up swallow
The first man on earth ain't a tough act to follow

One pump chump and you're hung like a weasel
Ditch the fig leaf, get yourself a pine needle

You want alone time? have it, in fact
Suck your own dick and
Shave your own back

The apple's the best thing I've bit so far
Now I see how much of a dick you are

[Adam]
I wasn't listening are you still flapping those lips?
I was just thinking yo did I give up a rib for this?
Woman I just dont know what your problem is
All I know is you're acting like a colossal bitch

[Adam and (Eve)]
I'm sorry
(Im sorry too)
Alright nice
*"Mood" music starts playing, but is abruptly cut off*
(Dont even think about it!)
Ok that's fine we could eat
WHO WON? WHO'S NEXT? YOU DECIDE!
EPIC (OH YEAH) RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!