Fake Problems - Born & Raised [tekst, tłumaczenie i interpretacja piosenki]

On April 29th, 1980-something, I was born to a new proud mother
She said she would always care for me 'til the day she died, and
She'd never let anyone ruin my life but they sure try

The day that I turned 18 my grandfather told me, he said
"Chris, I think you should join the army". I said I don't really
Think I'm cut out for that, no I'm fairly certain I wouldn't last
But I do agree the benefits are quite astounding, but I know that
I would throw up if saw someone dying

But if I went I would make the best of every moment, and show
Respect to my commanding officer and come home with a medal or
Something cool like that

Just a few months ago my best friend inquired, he said
"Do you think you'll ever go back to college?" I said yeah, sure
Eventually when the time is right, when I find a university I kinda like
Because I do agree the experience is quite enticing, if I don't get
Too distracted by all the drinking

But if I went I would make the best of every moment, and pay
Attention to the teacher and come home with some knowledge or
Something great like that