Bless The Mastermind - Autumn Blues 2: Salvation [tekst, tłumaczenie i interpretacja piosenki]

Autumn Blues 2: Salvation- Bless The Mastermind
Suicidal thoughts are now becomin part of me/I'm outta control I'm losin every single spark in me/
I don't know how to keep myself together/When pain is all i want to inflict, to make myself better/
I've lost everything i could possibly think of/Even grew attached to a kid i shouldn't have ever loved/
I try to find god, help create a bond/But even he ignores me like i did somethin wrong/
I'm trying so hard not to bring old habits/Cause i would drink my death while you fuckers clap it/
Go ahead, judge me on a daily basis/All your talk is like music, gotta face it/
Sick and tired i just wish everything would end/If it wasn't for one friend it wouldn't been/
Fuckin weak i admit it so proudly/Half the time i think about a gun to end it badly/
My emotions are racin, heart pacin/And the light that i had left doesn't even want a nigga chasin/
Fuck a psychic she told me that its the way it should/More like shoulda woulda coulda been fuckin good/
Misleading, could of warned me bout the beating/Instead she let it ride out till I'm short on breathing/
I was told i was destined for greatness/But now my fate is based on the abyss, i hate this/
The love of my life, can't even give a time of day/No matter how hard that i fight won't hear, what i have to say/
She think she made the right choice, bullshit/Like i don't got a voice, bullshit/
My own partner how the hell do i connect wit em/When jealousy the only thing in mind when i rap wit em/
I envy everything that motherfucker stands for/Cause everything that he has, i had 10x more/
Now I'm stuck in an oblivion I've tried to escape/You think i stay inside on purpose, call it rape/
See, I'm just a broken individual/Searchin for the spiritual, lookin for the miracle/
So lost in the depths of reality/I keep dreamin of my so called family/
"My Imagination" is my normality/
Believe I'm "Searchin" for the 2 now in my fantasy/
I lifted a curse so that my path could be straight/
But now I'm stuck wit the memories of times that were great/
You make it seem like you hate, the people that we were/
But that's the life i prefer, best times occurred/
Uh, I seek some foundation/
Autumn Blues i seek some salvation/