Bo Burnham - Left Brain, Right Brain (Updated) [tekst, tłumaczenie i interpretacja piosenki]

I am the left brain
I am the left brain
I work really hard 'till
My inevitable death brain
You got a job to do, you better do it right
And the right way, is with the left brain's might

*I like Oreos and pussy, in that order!
And I cry for at least an hour after watching Toy Story 3
WOODY!
I am the right brain
I have feelings
I'm a little all over the place but I'm lustful and trustful
And I'm looking for somebody to love, OR PUT MY PENIS IN!*

Here comes a female, here comes a female
Puff your chest up, take your phone and check your email
Our evolutionary purpose is repopulate
So gather data now and see if she's a possible mate

*Holy fuck! I think she might be the one!
There's something about her
I just can't describe it*

...Tits

*I am the Earth, she's the glorious sun
I want her to trust me
And I just want her to-how do I say this? Sit on my face. SIT ON MY FACE!*

Alright, now, right brain, you're being insane

*No, left brain, I'm just being alive. You should try it. You might like it.*

I worked hard to give him everything he cared about
You were worried 'bout the things that he was scared about
I'm calm and collected while you act wild
I am the adult, you are the child

*You think you're the right one every time!
You think you know everything
You don't know anything at all
Half of his problems were supposed to be mine!
But you wanted everything, I hope that you're happy
Cause he's sure not!*

Well, according to my calculations, let me check the math, uh, you are a pussy

*Really, name calling? Name calling?*

I'm not calling names, I'm just stating facts, and the fact is you are a quivering pussy

*I'm the pussy? Really? Well, at least I don't play with toys still.*

Rubik's Cubes are not toys, okay, they keep my spatial reasoning skills sharp!

*Ha ha! Left brain plays with toys! Toy player!*

At least I did my fucking job! I kept him working, I kept him productive! You were supposed to look after him. You were supposed to keep him emotionally stable for all this, and now you're trying to blame me for how he's feeling? How he's feeling? If he's feeling unhappy, it's because you failed him. You did this to him, he hates you! I know he does! He fucking hates you!

*...Cries*

Look, right brain, I'm sorry

*...No, you're not!*

Look, maybe there's something that we could together

*Together?*

Take the best parts of both of us, and put them together

*Im listening.*

It would let you let your feelings out, it would help me analyze
So you can mend the themes, I'll mend the form
It's something that George Carlin did
It's something that Steve Martin did
It's something special we can both perform
Do you know what it is?

*Juggling! We can juggle! Juggle our cares away!*

...It was comedy, you fucking idiot, we can do comedy together