Don't Flop - Rikky Riley vs Shuffle-T (Round One) [tekst, tłumaczenie i interpretacja piosenki]

[Shuffle-T]
So I've got another old dude to battle
But he is surely older
His knees are really weak you see, he keeps on falling over
His liver's ruptured, it's pretty fucked and it's been performing slower
So if he says he wants a piece of me it's because he needs an organ donor
That teacher after school on a weekday swag
Everything you own - TK Maxx
In your Vauxhall Nova with the seat laid back
'Cos he's slipped more discs than a DJ has
So since you're such a properly old prick
Let's take it back to when you were a more commonly known kid
'Cos even then you were just a follower to Osh, Rikk
But you were part of a duo with a comic approach, shit
Comic duo called Steve & Rikky, that's obviously noted
The same names as the guys that got The Office to blow big
And got popular so quick which got them on those gigs
So this is like when Gervais split off into showbiz to follow his own shit
With his inconsistent comedy road trips
'Cos if you hear a hotline and the quality don't mix
That's Steven's Merchant, he probably wrote it
See someone needs to give this Scouser a hand
Because I don't want to let the cat out of the bag
But in Liverpool he's the weakest out of the clan
He's either baby Oshea or the calcium man
'Cos you and Osh probably write your battles together as partners
So you've got Oshea there, who's an actual technical grafter
The bars he gives to you always gather hysterical laughter
The bars you give to him are the bars where he looks at the camera and says 'Terrible' after
And yet he's acting like he's killing these kid MCs, you sicken me
Like everyone around you is in Little League, Rikky please
Your shitty frees and similes make Ricky C's in Distinction, Leeds
Look like Chrissy Lees' delivery versus Tricky P's best written scheme
See you look like Mr Bean
Crossed somehow with Austin Powers, fucking man of mystery
You promote the imagery that British people have shitty teeth
Listen please, Listerine
So you're fucked if you're thinking Ricky's cool
His style is still in middle school
I know we're in your city's rule, but you'll get your innards ripped and pulled
I roll them into little balls, go over and grip the chalk
Throw them on the table and we can all play liver-snooker!

[Rikky Riley]
So, he's mentioning me and Oshea and we both know that Oshea's best
But Oshea's making a new album and he says I can be on it, so he says
But we all know I'm really unlikely to cut it in terms of successfully battling Shuflet because I believe what his missus said that time he left the headboard slimed
See after she'd recovered she stuck her head out of the covers and noted: 'You've come such a long way in such a short time'
You'd get on better with her if the sex was good
And if you didn't look exactly like the naughty one out of The Breakfast Club
If you used a face trimmer, you'd be the spit of Ace Rimmer
Your missus' massive clit's probably the only time you've ever tasted a kipper
Your horrible multi schemes are most definitely very shit
And they're more self-indulgent than the entire filmography of Kevin Smith
It's not my job to tell you when to stop
But if I had to hazard a guess, I'd say each of your verses is three stories too many, like sweat shops in Bangladesh
You're sort of in love with the the most whorish of sluts
That can factually be said
Plus it's true that she's had scores on her bum, she's quite sore in her cunt
'Cos many a man has passed her cash to perform sexual acts
Now that must torture you son, but here's a thought for you son
Since her gash is expensive it's probably true that since performing with cum is her source of income ,that probably exempts her from the bedroom tax
Now, this guy performs in Heads In Hats, which is some kind of comedy group, they're online, they do have fan
I don't know which sketch I enjoyed more, the one that was a rip off of Nathan Barley or the ones that were a rip off of Brasseye and Jam
See if you want to so obviously rob the wit of Chris Morris
Why not just drop into his office and nick a script from it - it'd be a bit more honest
Plus it would probably be funny too, so er yeah, why not
But the worst thing about you Adam, is when you kick a footy lad, your shoe flies off