John Wesley - Notebook [tekst, tłumaczenie i interpretacja piosenki]

God damaged you, but God made you
I love you, and I know that I can hate you
I’d be careful, but our relationship is already a trap
And since no one is listening I’m ready to snap
I will kill you before I let you breathe, you’d better be
Here for me whenever I need you, or my energy
Will be released upon you, alcohol is the end of me
But nothing I can do to you will get me any sentencing
It’s tempting but I’ll never put my pen to sleep
Why are you crying I thought you liked getting beat
I can’t live without you, it’s love, I’d never speak
If you ever left me it would be life-threatening
I don’t pursue another day of hurting you
But every time I get my hands on you, I take it personal
I would frame a photograph as far as the eye can see
As far as I can see I’ll make you silent if you try to scream

I think I’m obsessed with you, I can’t help it
And you are no one else’s – I know I’m selfish
We’re apart for a few days, I’m so jealous
I’m no gentleman my ugliness is overwhelming
And you’re no different, no; you’re SO different, illicit drugs
Turn you from a regular bitch into a bitch I love
Where do I get it from? – What I did, I shake my head
Don’t say what I did, be careful, you may wake the dead
Why do you love me? I use you to come clean
Admit what I did, but you won’t throw a fit or punch me
And nobody knows – people don’t look deep enough
I won’t exhale – I’ll close my mouth and keep it shut
I hope you keep quiet about what I like to do
To you when I’m drunk off anxieties and fighting you
I grab a rifle and a knife, I don’t like to choose
Slice and bruise you till I feel better, then cry to you

It’s tragic that I write sins, I try to write them slow
If it weren’t for you I’d have died quite a while ago
I’m alone but hey, I’m only slightly suicidal
I’ve finally chose to fight for life, and what I decide is final
Ninety Tylenol, Pine sol, crying and all
Trying to crawl to call 911, write on the wall
I’m not a good person; everybody I am sorry
You can ask anybody from Marley to Samantha or Carley
I’ve cheated on every girl because I put you first
And any result that could occur I always would endure
I wouldn’t leave you, I would leave them, but you don’t make me
Admitting an affair is a way to treat no lady
So know changing is something my mood is always doing
I’ll never know if this is therapeutic or harmful music
I can’t handle my thoughts; I’m getting off-topic
My desires whisper in my ear while God watches

If my life is not love then it’s all nonsense
I’d rather fall unconscious than make small progress
Arguments are dissolving my thought-process
And I’ve started wondering if my problem even are problems
You stopped me from leaving my body hanging on a string
Strangled and deceased slain in-between angels and demons
Our desires, what a tangled web we weave
Live for yourself and what a painful death you’ll see
So I continually use you, I’m assembling excuses
Seeking answers is tempting; the penalty is confusion
Empty and use me I ask of you
I know it’s melodramatic but life is done the minute rap is through
You ain’t going anywhere I told you to sit
This isn’t me throwing a fit, no, you know what it is
My face has cold blooded killer written all over and my pen has
Spoken to children choking their image in a mirror

I know you’re frustrated, I keep distancing me
I’ll take my own advice [LIFE] eventually
You give me way too much credit, you expect you’re protected
Accept I’m reckless and you’re the object of my affection; obsession
Whos to blame for staying in this relationship
We’re just a mix of hatred, impatience, nature, and negligence
Anyone can be appealing for an evening
That’s called infatuation; feelings can be misleading
Do you a favor and kill me and be deceiving
Vow me diseased is a secret that you’ll be keeping
I swear to God and Muhammad too much is not enough
Devoted to being someone you’ll never get to the bottom of
Life has one choice – are you going to give or take
Make money, take everything and death will take it away