Paul Thompson - Beside Myself [tekst, tłumaczenie i interpretacja piosenki]

[Intro verse- J. Daniel]
I don't need separation, separation needs me
Preparations in place, apologize if need be

[P. Thompson]
Yo, I'm ready to leave
Someone call me a taxi
I just wanna lay back
And fall asleep in the backseat
I'm too overcome to come back to the surface
Replay the whole scene
Trying hard to reverse it
In my mind I'm still on a couple milligrams
Understand I'm over the limit
Wouldn't want to withstand
Quicksand and skyscrapers
Touching the pavement
Man, these nightmares are nothing to play with
Piece of Vicodin
I'm startin' over again
Hopin' being over-anxious isn't more than a trend
Still lookin' for a rational for my ways
(Still lookin' for an exit to appear in the haze)
How am I supposed to leave
When I'm stuck in the moment
I'm the last one
You wanna leave your conscience alone with
Never defeatin' myself
Or want to improve
Maybe the clock is tickin'
And I'm stuck in the mood

[J. Daniel]
I'm a victim of my own actions of past acting
Decisions stay drastic
Hopin' to impact blasts
Tell God he's a bastard
From all the mass actions
I know your motive
It's not me you're intact with
(When I'm alone)
Split the transit dome
It lets me be the pass alone
Being different
Has shit to do with me being grown
So it's set in stone
You know my thoughts, I'm prone
In the zone
Never worry 'bout my tone
Look
All I ever did was care
We had time to spare
Feelings they tear
Knowing that I'm past your pair
They stare
Life ain't fair
At least give me a chance
And I'll believe it
If you tell me I can
Serotonin's at an all time low
Bare bones
All I show
Stay where I can see
Don't worry
How far I can throw
Cause
Trust ain't something that I invest in
Fuck the message I'm avoidin' learnin' lessons
Fuck impressin'
Finally fuck fittin' in
Odds are down
Still I hope y'all bid that I win
But you won't
There goes my idealism
Lights out
I wanna feel that incision
Listen
Before I get ahead on my psyche
Can't find me?
Therapy's where I might be
And know that
Double-up on the Prozac
Only have to prove what I haven't shown Cass
Some mornings I don't even wanna face the day
So I close the blinds
And remain in disarray
And I can't let go of anything not worth-while
The kids contemplate what they're worth-while
I know that
I'm at the bottom of my own bracket
No, I'll stay an artist
As a person I never lasted
That's why I don't trust anyone
Aside from myself
You don't have to ask
No, I'm beside myself

[P. Thompson]
(Yo, yo,)
I'm not afraid of the dark
I'm scared of what I think when I'm in it
Inhibited thoughts
If I'm not coping properly
Probably my fault
Constant apologies
Honestly
I just wanna see whatever these walls can see
Narrow hallways
Desire and pitfalls
You all look the same on my list of missed calls
You all sound the same as the voices in my head
That's why I'm still in love with my therapist
Part of me can't deal with some of the parts
Like all of me
Isn't enough to light a candle in the dark
I'm heartless
They say I'm too delusional
To know the rest
Well fuck y'all
I'm at the window staring at the bridge
How am I supposed to know
How to hide myself
When I despise anyone
Who ever tried to help
Besides, I'm too anxious to thank myself
For never leaving me alone
I'm beside myself

[Outro Verse- P. Thompson]

Uh, In control
But I wanna ignore it
Manipulatin' moods
Stuck in the moment