Now many of you know me and what I'm about
Or at least heard, by word of mouth
That I don't need any kind of substance to get me high
Cause I already fly
I'm high on life
That's so stereotypical, right?
But what many of you don't know is that I don't see nothing wrong with a little weed in your life
Crack kills; marijuana doesn't
I won't even mind when I'm at a restaurant with my wife and two kids
And we can all get a contact from the users at the table next to us
Cause they can smoke in no smoking areas
Cause the ban is only for tobacco smokers
So that's cool
Second-hand tobacco smoke kills; marijuana second-hand smoke just gets you high, if there's enough of it around
Shoot, pretty soon, at the rate California's going, you might even see me walking into a McDonald's one day
And the kid who is, let's say is about 15
Could be waiting outside the door
And as I approach, he begs for some more
He's running low, and is really craving a coke, fries, and McWeed
He wants to get a little McHigh before school
Cause he's worried about taking his big test, you see
And I can understand his situation
When I was high age, I, too, was a little uneasy about tests in school
Only thing I had to calm my nerves... was my mind
But the way the great state of California's going
There could be a day where a 15-year-old can find an easier way to unwind
And I don't see a dang thing wrong with that
Even though, 65% of kids who start smoking weed before the age of 15 are more likely to end up on crack
He still has a 45% chance of not doing that
Cause crack kills; a little McWeed doesn't
So I buy a little cannabis, cause he's like a son to me
And of course, I would buy my son some weed, right?
He goes to school and fails that test
Frustrated, he gets high again
Cause at 15, we all know what's best
Nothing's wrong with a little substance
Man, when I was 15, I thought I knew everything
It wasn't until I was 16 when I realized I was wrong
And then I knew everything
Until I turned 17, and so on, and so on
Well, pretty soon, he fails out of school
But that's cool
He didn't want to be there anyway
Just wants to be a rapper, and smoke weed all day
Cause crack kills; marijuana doesn't
Skip to the age of 21
Now he really, REALLY knows everything
It's just a way of life
Old enough to get marijuana legally
Getting high every day just to get by everyday
Cause we know that life ain't easy anyway
And we need an extra boost, just to cope with the problems
Matter of fact, his cousin grows his on his front porch
Ain't that ?
Now they can marijuana for free
Cause Wal-Mart? Wal-Mart only seems to carry Marlboro marijuana
And he's not a Marlboro man, you know what I'm sayin'?
He only desires the good stuff
Not the kind that you get nowadays at the 99 cent store
His cousin makes the strong chronic, right on the front porch
Did you know that weed is the number one addiction...
NUMBER ONE ADDICTION for over half the kids in drug rehab
But who said anything about drug rehab?
He doesn't have an addiction, you trippin'
He just gets depressed sometimes
But then, kid gets his smoke on and everything is fine
Flying high down the highway
Wait, you can't smoke weed while driving
That's okay, kids do what they want anyway
Man, this stuff being legalized is the best thing since alcohol
Crack kills; marijuana...
So our 21-year-old speeds off and less than 5 miles later
Runs into a 12-year-old girl on a bike ride home
She dies instantly
He flips the car over and ends up lying in a hospital bed
But yo, yo, he's not dead
Crack kills; marijuana just may impair your driving a little bit
The bright side, is we'll have these new organizations popping up like MAP (mothers against pot)
Cause those things usually start when someone's daughter dies from consequences
There are always consequences
But the benefits do outweigh the bad, right?
I mean, we can pay off the California deficit
And the tobacco industry can get into the pot-selling game and make a killing, literally
And I think, there has to be some benefits for us, right?
I mean, other than the fact that we can get high every day
Which is benefit enough if you ask Mr. 21-year-old
But surgery is an easy procedure, and doctors expect a full recovery
Not for the 12-year-old girl, though
Crack kills; marijuana doesn't necessarily kill you all the time
But may harm another person from time to time
Back to the operating room
The doctor always does a weed break before he operates; it calms his nerves
And now that it's legal, and you can smoke weed on the job
Why not?
Living in California's great
Being a doctor is stressful, wouldn't you agree?
Raise your hand if you say you want a high doctor operating on me
Cause crack kills; doctors don't
The doctor messes up on the surgery by just a little bit, though
Now he's walking with a limp that is hardly noticeable
Let's just say on the hoop court he's not all-pro
Gets a prescription for medical marijuana, but doesn't use it
He's moved on to crack and other hallucinogens, cause weed is for 15-year-olds
Marijuana is so yesterday
This is just one case, right?
This will never happen to me
Funny how everyone thinks that something will, "never happen to me"
When it does, we're like, "What!? I can't believe this happened to me"
Next thing we know, we're 58
Living on a respirator and can't hardly breathe
Marijuana harms the lungs faster than smoking cigarettes
It's all good though, right?
We had a fun 58 years on this Earth didn't we?
Hey, can you hear me?
We had fun, didn't we?
Hey... hey!
Doctor?
Doctor!
