Punsy - Inner self destruct [tekst, tłumaczenie i interpretacja piosenki]

[Verse 1]
Every morning that I'm waking, I feel I need some changing
I wanna do some great things, like doing shows in beijing
The obstacles I'm facing, are messing up my pacing
Now everyday I'm aging, I feel like time is wasting
I'm saying that all the time I'm taking up is fading
Or maybe I'm slowly going crazy cuz I'm failing
I feel my self esteem deescalating
I'm feeling like I hate me, all my inner confidence is breaking
It's aching and shaping me into someone that's angry
That ain't me. it may seem like it, but it can't be
I feel a massive hole in my heart and it's gaping
...it's affecting the very way I'm behaving
...I'm tired living life like I'm eighteen
...I'm tired treating time like a play thing
I'm not lazy, but I need rearranging
...procrastinating should no longer plague me
But on the other hand, i've said this in the past. if I
Give myself another chance will it be just as bad?
It gets me pissed and mad. why do I live like that?
Why can't I pick a different path and just forget the facts?
I wanna try everything with my potential maxed
I'm committing acts now with it snipped in half
I can only express this through my gift of rap
I'm fighting myself, it's not a winning match

[Hook]
I'm fighting myself, I'mma be nothing
I'm fighting myself, I can be something
I'm fighting myself, i'mma be worthless
I'm fighting myself, I can be perfect
I'm fighting myself, I should be dead
I'm fighting myself, I should be ahead
I'm fighting myself, I'm gonna fail
I'm fighting myself, I will prevail
I'm fighting myself

[Verse 2]
I can hear a voice say, you should finish and quit it
Diminish existence, just give in and listen
Admit it this instance you sense an indifference
With living in mischief, now here's a decision
Relinquish your spirit, elicit your sickness
Put thin slits in this wrist, let it drip for minutes
Or end it with quickness, like Kelvin did
Shoot yourself with a pistol, go to hell with him
My eyes swell with tears, and I wake up screaming
I rebuke that evil in the name of jesus!
That kind of wayward dream is not the way I'm thinking
Now I'm laying sleepless nothing say I'm speechless
But, going through that moment helped me find a secret
I'm not only fighting reason, I'm fighting demons
Through all these times I'm seeing, That's it's christ I'm needing
Through him my life has meaning my inner fight's completed