Smart Alec - I Suck at Picking up Women [tekst, tłumaczenie i interpretacja piosenki]

A player is not exactly the word to use
I'm in the game.---I just usually loose
I can't afford RESTAURANT meals for CHICKS
' That's why I primarily date ' ANOREXICS
My ex was obese, ' sorry to disappoint
Cops kept her at a DUI checkpoint
No breathalyzer. ' No walking a line
You're drunk driving if you think that broad's fine
I'm sorry I offered to blow her
I just have low standards, ' I'm sober!
I lack GAME, ' not sure what I'm MISSING
I couldn't even get raped in PRISON
My LONELY TEARS drew PUDDLES
I ROOFIED a PROSTITUTE just to CUDDLE
Got a vasectomy, Doctor says a waste
You already got birth control, your face
\\
Chorus
\\
I Hung outside confessional booth
Where naughty girls tell the truth
I thought catholic youths ' are sluts at least
But the only one to hit me was the priest
Gave a girl flowers to nail her
She's allergic, only blew the inhaler
The things I say can be sick
The best blowjobs are from bulimics
No gag reflex would ever follow
But bulimic skanks. They never swallow
About to cum, I can't eject
Ipod mode, Don't disconnect
Set my GPS to find a wife
It's been Rerouting my whole life
A rapping jew? I'm not disabled
My people own the record label!
\\
Chorus
\\
I went to a feminist rally to date chicks
But it was just fucking lesbians that hated dicks
Offered the radical feminist leader a lick
She said "only if I bang you with dildo stick."
That's sick, don't be so quick
Let me explain why I'm your pick
Yo, I’m not trying to be a prick
But you’d let me say the N word if you saw my dick
No trick, For a Jew it's nice
Rabbi had to circumcised me twice
(nightcrawler) I’ve seen it. Please
(nightcrawler) This dude could be Chinese
I Went out with a girl for a martini
I went to the bathroom, saw some graffiti
Call for a good time on the urinal cup
I dialed the number. My fucking date picked up!