[Intro]
[Verse 1: BLACK "E"]
Can you feel the pain? I wear it on sleeve
Never show emotions, so niggas never believe
Me, "Who, Him?!", "The one who never smiles, can't tell if he's happy or sad?"
Yeah, me, same nigga who's got issues with dad
Let's run it back, back before the land of the Turks
Before I had my hand in some dirt
I'm breathing air for the first time
And man this stuff hurts
"Is he living or dying Doc?", "Don't soften the blow."
"Possible brain damage, no cranium bone."
That's the least of my probs; could it get any worse?
Fade to Motherland, Ghana, Africa
Parents' origin, birth. I'm ten months
And my belly is swoll, It's hot as a mother
But my body is cold. Cirrhosis of liver from this malaria shit
Over before it's started, my life is fading me quick
What's your summary of life? This is just my beginning
I have no footprints in sand, no trust of God is within me
[Hook: BLACK "E"]
I know God hates me
I can feel it in my bones
If you look in my eyes
You'll see my soul burning cold
Pain is my solace
I welcome Death like he's family
I'm losing the battle
No more will left inside of me
[Verse 2: BLACK "E"]
Let's move along, to grade number six
Cruelest people on earth
So called heart warming kids
I remember the racists, when I start thinking back
The kids weren't white, the motherfuckers were black
"Tar Baby", "Damn nigga, you're dark as the night", "I can't see you nigga"
"Open your eyes", 11 years old, how can deal with this shit?
Plus I'm a boy, I can't be showing feelings and shit
I'll hold it in, let it eat me alive
You can see the anger and hate, burning deep in my eyes
This is my tool, you can't get the best of me
Now I'm about to explode, they keep testing me
How do I control it and keep from going bezerk?
Does God even exist; does He know that I hurt?
Now I'm sixteen, I feel alone in this world
Once again, my heart's broken. I'm losing trust in these girls
Change my persona, got a new walk and some clothes
They're not women no more, I'm seeing bitches and hoes
Hating myself, ashamed of my color and roots
I'd seen the gun in the closet. I just want to take it
And shoot myself in the head. Parents' walk in on me dead
But I'm a coward. I didn't pursue it
In the tub with knives to my wrists, but I just couldn't do it
[Hook: BLACK "E"]
[Verse 3: BLACK "E"]
Now as a man, as I look back on my life
I blamed Him for my troubles, even hated Him twice
Hated God so much, I wanted to kill Him myself
I didn't believe in Heaven, I'll take my chances with Hell
Time to man up and look myself in the mirror
Yeah, back in '98, it couldn't be clearer
I was homeless, roaming the City of Duke
Had no money for clothes, begging people for food
I had a chest full of pride, can't stoop to that level
Yo', I can't let him win, I can't give in to the Devil
Flash seven years, I'm in the city of dreams
It took becoming a man to know what sacrifice means
For sixteen years, I've been watching the game
Seen a lot of cats sell their soul for fortune and fame
But God had a plan, I cheated death twice
What's money, power, and respect, with no claims to your life
I took back control and made peace with myself
Swallowed my pride and started asking for help
Mended fences with pops and put my focus in music
Without God, yo', ain't no way I could do this
That's my life summary, but the story's ongoing
My Redemption Song; all here for the showing
