Chieftaine - Going Through Changes [tekst, tłumaczenie i interpretacja piosenki]

Chorus:
I'm going through changes (x2)

Verse 1:
Lately, I don't really see an end to this depression
I've bottled it up and now I'm less content while under pressure
Life lessons have hit me with less of an effect
And I'm stressing while I guess how long is left before I rest
So now I'm restless, heart is shattered while I think about the past
And I try to see my future through a wall of broken glass
Thought's are clashing, heart my is swallowed in the midst of all these actions
From the lives that pass to suicide and fatal car crashes
I try to think about it, grasp and rationalize
Why it's not only my life I see passing me by
Why I always seem to see my life flash in my eyes
And why I'm rapping when I feel no passion or drive to continue
When I'm on the brink to end with the nine
But it's like I'm out of ink in the pen in my mind
But I'm beginning to find the sparks I need, but they're burning me
I'm fearing that my gift to rap will leave with my maturity

Chorus

Verse 2:
I've been too down to try and live it up
I start to see less meaning in all this written stuff
In my attempts to keeping trust balanced, I started slipping up
I try to get it up, but you show me how easy giving up is
And what am I supposed to do but to follow your role?
I lost all my pride when I was forced to swallow it whole
When you had a team to start and now you finish alone
From arrests to economic deaths of innocent souls
But within this abode I have no reason to complain
And when I'm told that, It's only adding lesions to my pain
Just when I thought that I was maybe leaving the rain
But it's only adding reasons why I'm needing to change
It's only secondary pain, but too much to tell apart
What's the point? Dirty needles still infecting our hearts
So when y'all are shooting up, watch the bullets fall down
They kill the ones that you love, burying their hearts in the ground

Chorus

Verse 3:
I've made a mistake, I lost my last and only friend
Now tell me, how am I supposed to feel happy again?
Tell me why I shouldn't quit and try to search for the end
I don't want to go another day hurting again
Now everybody asks, "what could be hurting so bad?"
Well maybe it was for the near death of my Dad
Or maybe cause I never see an end to this sadness
I've had to say goodbye to every friend I've ever had
So I've been wearing a mask to scare all people away
I'm glad you took it off, but not to sneak it away
I'm sorry man bout how it had to end this way
But a tornado had to crash our home to mend the gray
You can diminish the pain without sparking the lighter
I thought that all of the negatives would have made my darks brighter
But instead of the latter, I just destroyed my life
And that just makes it so much harder to avoid the knife

Chorus

Verse 4:
I've said goodbye too many times in this last 16
But I refuse to repeat it until my last 16
But will I pass 16? or will I grasp this dream?
Without shooting up, I've got the means to blast and gleam
At last it seems that maybe I'll surpass these scars
And I can write for different means than breaking glass with bars
Write em or live behind em, life's philosophy
Whether I'll go to jail or pass go, it's monopoly
I can't just hold it in till death to let the bottle pour
I've got three siblings that I've got to role model for
"I was never getting high so I was always feeling low"
But when you're getting low, where does that feeling of high go?
It all just dissipates with every bit of your pride
So where do you go? to more drugs or suicide?
I refuse to be an example of another wasted life
You'll have to kill me yourself cause I'm replacing this knife
With a scalpel just so I can change the face of the earth
I've seen too many closed eyes, you've got to face it, it hurts
To know you ruined your whole life in but a blink of an eye
Staring contests with depression, on the brink of alive
I'm changing

Chorus