[Round 1: Dumbfoundead]
I feel real comfortable cause Dizaster told me "keep cool"
He told me I can blank out at least once and still beat you
You see, you might have some rhymes but you don't have the heart
This Greek motherfucker needs to drop the mic and grab a harp
Thesaurus? That sounds like the ugliest dinosaur in Jurassic Park
I already beat the Asian and Latino versions of you ya big loser
You can send all the goomba's you want King Koopa
Cause I'm the future of the west coast, in L.A. we been mobbin'
I'll admit you gave birth to a lot of battle rappers but they'll all have skin problems
I know those crutch lines that really hold us back
But I'd rather start my rhymes with "goddamn" than "all I know is that"
Your face looks like you looked straight up to summer [? for a 100 summer days
He let me try on his stunner shades but I had to wipe it off first cause it was hummus glazed
Yo, here's the difference between you and me
I do shows and get lots of head
You do shows with ostrich head
Yo, I do tours, get paid and stay at the Sheraton
You give tours at the Monterey Bay Aquarium
[Round 1: The Saurus]
Battling another Asian guy sure is pointless
Especially the ones with nerdy voices
Who are you? The thirsty koi fish?
Are you sure he's poisonous?
E looks like a hungry homeless drifter
Aye, everybody knows, your sister's leaving bloody nosed and blistered
Yo, you're such a nerdy faggot, it's amusing
Before the battle with Illusion, he was drinking tea, practicing hadoukens
Yo, I want to punch the face of this guy but based on the shape of his eyes
We know the policy, "You break it you buy"
I'm a rap menace and your dad's tending the cash register
Fuck this cat predator, cast member for Last Emperor
You were greater in the movies
Cause now a days, the only thing that Data from The Goonies is making out Suzuki's
Bring me a plate of freaking sushi
Which would normally be wrong
But I need more to feed upon than your poor Korean mom
I woke up to her pleasuring me orally at dawn
Opened both my eyes and shouted "Good morning Vietnam!"
[Round 2: Dumbfoundead]
So I was at the bookstore the other day and I came across a book called "All I Know Is That: The Thesaurus Story"
It's sort of boring but it actually had a lot of stuff
Like chapter three entitled: Battling For My Father's Love
See a lot of y'all might not know this but his dad used to make him battle his siblings
He said it was a traumatic experience
But it was a way for his dad to entertain himself while his mom was have her period
You see, when he would lose a battle his dad would put hot water in a super soaker and his face would get rinsed down
Oh my god, your face, it all makes sense now
Yo, so if you want to read about the time he had sex with a man or his breast reduction exam
You can find the book between Phantom Of The Opera and the Elephant Man
Check out all his other books while you're at it
Like, "Fun With Forced Multi's" or his earlier classic, "The Younger Nick Nolte"
This man loves to read, from romance novels, to horrors to anything that's funny
But what you really need to read is Making Songs For Dummies
Cause putting together an album shouldn't take this long ya dummy
Can we get an EP or at least a single?
Clean yourself up, wash your face, release the demo
[Round 2: The Saurus]
Now last Grind Time I battled Kumar and I kept asking him where Harold is
Well I already handled that Iraqi fuck terrorist
So who are you? His acupuncture therapist?
Yo, I feel like something is wrong
But I'm really just confused to meet a Thirsty Fish who's hungry for dog???
Yo, who the fuck did you learn karate from? Connie Chung?
I taught you how to donkey punch I copied from Miyagi's son
It's sort of freaking obvious
This North Korean communist is known for eating wieners more than Kobayashi is
You boney fucking chino
The Swim Team is getting tired of you rolling up to each show in floaties and a Speedo
He's disgracing y'all Blowdians
So tell this skinny dork to go back making shitty [?] Mongorians
If you ain't nailing a railroad, you're playing yourself bro
And I don't mean he's afraid when I say that he's yellow
Here's an antenna , tape and some Velcro
Go make me a cell phone then do my fucking HTML code
[Verse 3: Dumbfoundead]
You're like a creature from Evil Dead that just won't die
I think everyone here can that his voice sounds like it's on lo-fi
But his man is a legend ya know why?
Cause he once scored four touchdowns in one game at Polk High
Yo, before watching your clips there should be a disclaimer to warn us
Cause people watch your videos to feel the opposite of what porn does
I bet your keyboard is covered in Corn Nuts and you actually train for battles wearing warm ups
Chanting, "I'm the king of the Freshcoast" while jogging and drinking egg yolks
You see, somebody should've given me someone more challenging
I mean at this point The Saurus battling is relevant now as The Source magazine
You're a talkative jerk and your face looks constantly hurt
Hand me over your crown but wipe the grease off of it first
If I look at your face and connect the different dots
It'll spell out the phrase "My chicken pox itched a lot, you missed a spot"
Two time Scribble winner, two time world rap championships
And now two time loser to Los Angeles bitch
[Round 3: The Saurus]
I got golden state pride
You a hoe from Shanghai
Thanks to you I found a new meaning for lower case i's (eyes)
You wouldn't be a heavyweight if we were both the same size
And you roll with the only dang kind of gangs that don't create crime
But before this helpless mark, the world had never dealt with SARS
I'm not dyslexic, it's just hella hard to tell apart your L's and R's
I run this game, I put myself in charge
Yo, every time this guy plays soccer he gets the yellow card
What the fuck you spitting a verse for?
This ain't considered a turf war
Cause no one's threatened by a mixture of dirt poor, hipster and nerdcore
Yo, I don't want to hear you ever again
I'd rather pay for Chinese lessons from Jin than a record from him
You should just become a Kamikaze pilot bomber
Cause you're too bitch to become samurai and die with honor
This Fish just got devoured
For more on this story, let's go live to Asian correspondent Tricia Takanawa
{The Saurus wins, but he and Dumbfoundead decide to do an overtime round just for fun...}
[Round 4: The Saurus]
Yo fuck the battle, I want to be swerving at the party
His name is Jinathan but how come every person in the Army refers to you as "Charlie"
Yo, I don't gotta prove I'm fucking savage
And if you don't see eye to eye with me that's because I got a two to one advantage
This faggot looks like Tantrum lost his discipline
And you're not a citizen
Yo, honestly I'm glad I'm not a fisherman
Cause she's considered to be the biggest bitch in the sea
I'm not Asian but we were raised similarly
Yo, see, I drove here in an Acura...wearing Nikes
And the chance that he made both of those is very likely
Yo, my favorite movie is Oldboy but this muhfucka starred in it
I took my lady out for Sake bombs this muhfucka bar tended
But one large difference
This Tibetan dude is trash
And back when I was making friends in school he couldn't execute the task
Unless there was a test we need an extra boost to pass
Cause people just assume that you were better doing math so they sat next to you in class
[Round 4: Dumbfoundead]
Yo, here we are at overtime
By now there should've been a Thesaurus Behind The Music, but there's no music to go behind
Yo, I think by now it's safe to say you won't be signed
To understand his relationship with Illmac' you need to have an open mind
But enough with the jokes Peter I got something for the kids
Peter picked his pimples 'til his pores were pouring puss
Pimples packed with pressure get Proactive or they'll bust
Peter played a lot of poker with Portland pal
'Til poor Peter paid a prostitute and lost a couple thou'
So you have pimps, puss and prostitutes so here's the moral now
Though Peter isn't perfect it's important to be proud
Yo, they say the camera adds ten pounds to most battle MC's
Well you look big as fuck on camera, what kind of cameras are these?
High definition?
You go to the gym and get tired after five repetitions
And spend the rest of the time checking out other guy's thigh definition
This fag is enormous, wait I don't want to say that word
What's another word for "fag" someone grab a Thesaurus
