[Marlo and Shuffle-T]
Fuck the U.K.!
Fuck the monarchy
Fuck tea
Fuck the fuckin’ NHS
Having a Prime Minister is gay
And our accents a joke
Daniel we know
We just covered 99 percent of the angles you wrote
‘Cause when you’re against international opponents you’re never direct with your lines
Instead you rely on every cliché that exemplifies the well-known nation from where they reside
If we were from The Federated States of Micronesia, the fuck would you say, Dan?
You’d have a terrible time
You need to stop depending on stereotypes you fat, gun-toting American guy
And after recycling his leftovers from Deffinition
They’re gonna call us homosexual, there’s a given
So we thought we can make this more interesting
And came up with a clever system
Every time they say that we are gay and don’t have sex with women
We’ll add another bar to our third round about Dan’s Dad’s meth addition
You’re both called Dan
Thanks for the name flip opportunities
It’s Dan and Dan
And even the and in Dan and Dan is an anagram of Dan
So really it’s Dan and an anagram of Dan and Dan
AKA Dan, Dan Dan
Dan, Dan, Daaaan!
Dan, Dan, Dan
This Daniel here is so excited about this
He’s the only person here who has been calling this match great
When he got it confirmed he lifted up Caustic like Pat Stay
His wife cooked him a big old breakfast this morning with ham steaks and all four of our faces drawn in the pancakes
The caption underneath in powdered sugar read “Hope you all have a grand day”
In preparation for today, this dude created a mood playlist of tunes and named it “The Shufflo Vibes”
It’s literally “Happy” by Pharrell Williams duplicated a hundred times
But let’s be real, we’re grateful to be on the West Coast
You’ve got to laugh, most of the battles here today are proper hard
These people here have paid and they want some bars
And somehow us ridiculous comic marks have got the part at an event in which Diz, Verb and Hoffa star?
What the fuck?
Yo, Lush, listen
Thanks a million, but you’re a bad magician
This is not our card
Surely this is a purely big mistake
As soon as you got the flights paid for we knew something was up, dude
Surely now no one with any money will trust you
I can imagine him and Lush sitting just buzzing on mushrooms
As soon as they hit confirm payment they went, “The fuck did we just do?”
And Caustic, what the hell are you doing?
You’re battling with Dirtbag Dan
I think you’ve hit your head, you know?
You’re battling with Dirtbag Dan!
That’s a bigger risk than wearing those [points to Shuffle's shoes]
Did you not see the flyer?
Did it not click that this was set in stone?
I know they call you the career ender
I just didn’t think they meant your own
Caustic is so pissed
What the fuck are you doing here, Mr. Serious?
What were you smoking?
I can imagine when the trailer dropped and he watched the whole thing he called up Dirt like, “Oh man, I kind of thought you were joking”
Mate, you didn’t think this through a damn bit
Dan’s shit, trust me you can’t lift this human baggage
And you know the kind of shit we pull
Just silly kookie antics, fuckin’ immature dramatics
This battle will destroy the image you’ve established
Let’s take your interview with Rap Grid
You just battled Aye Verb
You said you wanted Big T
Shit you even hinted moves to Patrick
You’re a serious dude and that’s it
But I guess in a room with Dan it’s simple who the man is
So now you’re battling us
Two nincompoops with wack kicks who sniff the boot and rap sick
Just some kids who grew up acting and switched to do some rapping
We’re so incredibly overrated there’s no sense in us going places
And all that’s left we’re going to say is
Caustic this is who you’re battling!
[Dirtbag Dan and Caustic]
Right
Y’all ready?
You know what rhymes with Marlo and Shuffle-T?
Ah no, no no
You know what? I don’t think we’re gonna do that
What the fuck, man?
Go ahead, you fuckin’ go
Already fuckin’ this shit up, go ahead
Yo, you wanna know what rhymes with Marlo and Shuffle-T?
None of y’all can fuck with me
Before I murdered Verb I was a certified vet
But I’m white and I’m funny so I don’t get any respect
I say fuck that shit
I’m tried way less than Verb did in the end
They only book my ass to ruin the integrity of the event
The second he stepped on that stage, he was already dead
I saw the bitch in his eyes, that’s how I knew I had got in his head
And Illmac about to stomp his ass with the pen
And if Verb got a problem with what I said, tell him to drink some fuckin’ water before you end up in fuckin’ hospital again bitch
Hey, if you’re gonna get on your Verb shit, I’ma get on my bird shit
‘Cause y’all both white, like bird shit
I’ll get the drop on ‘em like bird shit
You fuck around with me you’ll end up all over the news like bird shit
Yo you keep droppin’ all this bird shit
You’re gonna get the fuckin’ bird flu like Verb did
Fuck that shit
I came to take your head like a trophy, T
How it’s supposed to be
Watch your British bitch get fucked on cam like Sophie Dee
I watch porno too, right after my wife goes to sleep
You know you fucked up when you accepted those flights?
You know how close this is to Mexico, right?
You’ll learn lessons in life if you get through the night
Shit, you fuck around with me you’ll get Jefferson Price’d
You know what happened to Jefferson Price?
He got slapped by that fat bitch and it ended his life
Marlo’s bitch look just life Jefferson’s wife
To fuck he gotta lift the coochie fat
While you’re out of town she got your homies at the place
Putting cream on her face like a Gucci tat
She barely let you fuck missionary
They got the cameras out and the lights on
Filming British movies after she open her snatch they give her the Full Monty Python
Yo I said I’m good in the hood
I know L.A. crooks
They let this British fairy come all the way out to L.A. shook
I choke you in front of everybody, I’ll let L.A. look
I’ll put him in that super mega hold, that’s L.A. Looks
Which one of these fuckers are you talking to?
Combover or Doctor Who?
What the fuck is a Doctor Who?
You know? Fuckin’ Doctor Who
Doctor Who like Chinese dude on sauce in Doctor Who [?]
No, Doctor Who, it’s a TV show on the BBC, dude with the Tardis
There’s a BBB show about a Chinese dude who’s retarded?
No Caustic
If there was, I would totally watch it
Look that’s way off topic, stay by us
No I said we’re Californian, I need you to stay bias
Plus, we’ve got these big beautiful beards and they’ve got facial hair like fuckin’ gay pirates
Hey, these faggots think that they invented multis
You come from the wrong scene
These fuckin’ bizarre dweebs have been fuckin’ with our steez
It’s nothing for one of us to… hundreds of long schemes
But the trouble with that Shuffle is what do the bars mean?
I’m tryin’ to make a sonnet to tug at your heartstrings
You’re trying to force multis, some of them aren’t clean
So if you’re going to take your whole fuckin’ shit from the WRCs
Try to limit it to a couple of bars, please
