S-Ra - Personal Hell [tekst, tłumaczenie i interpretacja piosenki]

[Verse 1]
Trying so hard not to cry
Trying so hard not to die
It makes me strong, makes me alive
Having the traditional nine through five
I'm going back to my place, for there's too many a face
That no one can recognize
I'm in my personal hell
If you want me, ring the bell
Maybe the old man on the river can send me a yell
I never imagined I would end up here
Stuck on the pier, hanging by a tear
I used to go to school with the idea
That everyone there would be a leader
I was taught many things as a child
Most of which was true as my file
I was lied to, told that I could never make it
Now where am I, I can't even fake it
Making it my pride, my purpose to continue and end
Next thing you know another challenge around the bend
I wrote this, my wound still trying to mend
My mental state is in a place that needs defense
I never said I was part of the normal society
Come down to it, most think that's irony
Because no human being would give me privacy
I sometimes walk in the rain to get rid of the pain, the main thing that feints me from the drain
I go home, barely know my brother
The way he acts can make me shudder
I'm not a special snowflake, or different like 2 Chainz
All I'm trying to say is that it causes me pain
And I'm trying to get out, get out of the twirl
The swirl that's similar to a whirlwhind
Gotta get out, out of this hurricane
But my body wants to reform the new shame
Can't deal with it, just get me out before I become apeshit insane

[Hook]
I'm still battling depression, but it's all just part of my collection
If you wanna come make a confession, I'm open to all forms of expression
This is hell, only for me, and I'm looking out for it personally (2x)

[Verse 2]
Every day I try to wake
And remember why i hate
The day before
It keeps me up during the night
Making me want to see the light
But there's nothing I look forward to
I would ask for help to get out of this place
But out of everyone, there's not a single face
I know, galore
Maybe it's time to turn the page
And ask the world why I'm stuck in this cage
No one will help me, no one will care
So I vent and rage, help me if you dare
Trying not to scream
Trying not to dream
It makes me weak, makes me cream
Having the power to shape my own scene
I'm going back to my estate, for there's too many a fate
That no one can recognize
I'm in my personal hell
If you want me, ring the bell
Maybe the old man on the river can send me a yell

[Hook]
I'm still battling depression, but it's all just part of my collection
If you wanna come make a confession, I'm open to all forms of expression
This is hell, only for me, and I'm looking out for it personally (2x)