Witch Please - Buenas Retardes [tekst, tłumaczenie i interpretacja piosenki]

Go, Moses
Goses
Strike them poses
The universe won't even notice
I'll put on some guyliner
Give myself the bro fist

Mr. Eternal Teenager
Mrs. Anti-Everything
I'll just sit there contemplating
Just how fucking emasculating
It got towards the end
If you think the suffering's over
Think again
Goddammit
I don't wanna leave this planet

Stop saying it's gonna be all right
Fooled them all
Used to be so bright
How come none of these ideas work?
How come there's a trail of anger and hurt?
Why do I become toxic to those around me?
For the first few moments
They were so glad they found me

You want a confession from this dangerous mind?
Here goes
Leave the excessive rumination behind

Almost as stern as Howard
Two times as serious
A rationalizing coward
Apologetic and delirious
Furious at the ghosts of the past
I hate goodbyes
The flag's at half-mast
A countdown's in order
Call a reporter

(What should I tell her?)

To write this shit down

The bathroom's locked
Cause the zipper got caught
From the bottom of my heart
I hope the Nazi twins get shot
The mugger will be strapped to a gurney
Punishment for telling us "it's about the journey"
As for the guard and the mechanic
Burned at the stake
Try not to panic
The discounts are fake
Slut, put down the cake
Dry off Jake
Before he kills your fat cousin with a rake

Narcissism
Low self-esteem
Well
As long as the apartment's pristine
And I'll continue to clean
Then the dreams will turn to something serene

Threw away the key when Gilbert got freed
Cut the pump out
Wear it on my sleeve
Insanity will eventually arise from this vanity

Cause it's one thing to think it
Something else to feel it
Find the treasure chest
It's full of emotion
The arrow flies in slow motion
I down the wizard's love potion
Then reject the foolish notion

More mature
Or just older?
Lovely bangs
I wanna hold her
The cutest one you've ever met
Likes cartoon porn
Thinks photography's an art form
Has double Ds
And loves a man in unicorn

Come on, baby
Let's get married
I'll write you the coolest obituary
Show you all the nicest spots
You'll have a life more fucked up than Sidney Prescott's
Yes yes yes
Chase away intrusive thoughts

Time to switch gears
Where do you see yourself in five beers?
Dripping with cold sweat
Next to nine queers?
They started chasing me
Yelled "stop"
I actually did
To make a point

Keep yourself busy
Don't think about it

(You think that's gonna work?)

Worth a shot but I doubt it

Creepy-ass premonitions
Inaccurate definitions
From a time when people used to dream in black and white
I didn't ignore it
I just didn't let it take over my life

The notes have to be destroyed
No shadows
No remorse
All you need is vaginas and barbecue sauce

Sucked on a pacifier
Got on my knees
Life itself is the biggest fucking tease
Playing solitaire with spiders
The birth of Witch Please

The buxom redhead
Her freckles glow
Dead centre
Fourteenth row
Who designed this crooked bow?
Anyway
Aim low

(You're so mysterious
Should we call you Witch?)

Well, my real name's Caspar
But my family calls me
And I let it go to voicemail
Land ho
Hoist main sail

A toast
To the method actor who never made it
Another one
For this gypsy I dated

Take a tutorial
Add fame
No nostalgia
Just pain
An algorithm for more of the same

How many new apologies?
How many empty promises?
Go back to school?
Yeah
Do what?
Become a pharmacist?

Maybe stop wearing all black?
Think about ways to get Vanessa back?
Nah
That's not it
While I'm alive
I won't let it turn to shit

Letting the moods dictate the actions
A fucking Ellis character
The Rules of Attraction
Rule number one
There are none

I mix the drinks myself
You stand so close
You make me shiver
Enough blood in my head
To overflow a fucking river
The sister whispers something
I dismiss as drunken drivel
I whisper back saying
She should think about her liver

Sever your ties
Take a chance
Even if you die
You'll have what most people don't
At least you fucking tried

This is my type of ballad
Not exactly a sonnet
Buenas retardes
I'm on it