Jacob Nash - If I Die [tekst, tłumaczenie i interpretacja piosenki]

[verse 1]
I'm getting discouraged and I'm feeling so worthless
My life is so pointless and I'm fed up with all this
I think it would be best if I put myself to rest
But I'm not talking about going to bed
I'm talking about going to my coffin instead
I'm talking about wanting myself to be dead
But this isn't another rant about being suicidal
This is about the reasons why I feel the way I do
Now, before I continue, I'm not going to kill myself
If I ever actually try to, hopefully I'll get help
But is it okay when I say it's a good day to die?
I'm feeling that way and I don't want to lie
Just think about if more good came from my death
Than would come from my life if I don't take it tonight
I'm lacking a reason to keep living my life
I'm sick of this strife. What's the meaning of life?
It means I have yet to kill myself. Right?
Is there anything else? Or is there no reason not to kill myself?
If only I could make a positive impact on the world
Maybe some day I will. I guess I'll just try to follow God's will

[hook]
As I lay me down to sleep
I pray the Lord my soul to keep
And if I die before I wake
I pray the Lord my soul to take
As I lay me down to sleep
I pray the Lord my soul to keep
If I don't see tomorrow's light
Please take me home to heaven tonight

[verse 2]
I'm tired of sinning. I'm tired of living
I'm tired of dealing with all the pain I've been feeling
Thank God that I've been forgiven
But how long until I get to go to heaven?
I'm ready to go to heaven right now. I'm not suicidal
But I've been patiently waiting for my death for a while
Yeah, I'm waiting with patience, but my patience has limits
And if it ever runs out, I'll put an end to all this
I'll maybe slit my wrists or eat some bullets
I could grab a gun, with my finger on the trigger, and end all of this
But hopefully, I'll be able to find something to hold on to
We all need something to live for; maybe family will do
But it won't if you think they'd be better off without you
And there are times for me when I think that is true
What am I doing for them? Or for anyone else?
To make their lives better and give purpose to myself?
What am I contributing? If there isn't anything
Then is there a reason to continue living?
There's got to be some kind of positive impact that I'm making
If I'm not helping in any way, I'd be better of dying

[hook]

[verse 3]
Would the world be any different if I were to die today?
Would some people grieve for a few days and then everything would be okay?
Would any good come from my death? Or would it lead to bad things instead?
I guess there's no way I could know until I'm actually dead
But I wonder would people be inspired to live their lives better?
Or would they get discouraged and maybe even want their lives to be over?
Could they use the frustration to push them to do something
That they couldn't do had I continued on living?
Or maybe when I die, it'll be like nothing happened
And the world will hardly even notice my abscence
I do know nobody will gladly receive their inheritance
Because I really don't own very many possessions
But rambling on and on about my death really is pointless
I'm just wondering which would be better for things
Would people be better off with me living or with me dying?
I don't really know, because I have no idea what the future will bring
I'll just try to make a positive impact to make my life worth living
I'll be inspiring and encouraging with the music I'm making
That's why my rapping is clean. I don't want to be mean
Because music shouldn't be a negative influence to teens

[hook]