"Weird Al" Yankovic - Confessions Part III [tekst, tłumaczenie i interpretacja piosenki]

Watch this...

These are my confessions
Just when i thought i said all i could say
I came up with more secrets to tell you today
These are my confessions
Slipped my mind
The last to times
Silly me, so now i gotta give you part 3
Of my confessions

First i told you 'bout that skank that i was cheatin' with
Then i mentioned she's having my kid
But thats not all, now i recall more you see, so i give you part 3
Of my confessions

Now this gonna be the hardest thing i think i ever had to do
Gonna tell you everything left out of parts 1 and 2
Like remember when i told you i knew Paully Shore?
Thats a lie i dont know what i said that for
I borrowed your chapstick from you without asking
Oh and i tried out your nose hair trimmers too
And by the way your diamond ring is cubic zirconium
Killed your goldfish accidentally just replaced it with another one

These are my confessions
Just when i thought i said all i could say
I need to get some things off my chest right away
These are my confessions
Slipped my mind
The last to times
Silly me, so now i gotta give you part 3
Of my confessions
I threw up on your dog last time i had too much to drink
Theres been times where i peed in your sink
Dont know why but you and i should agree
That belongs in part three
Of my confessions

Baby, forgive me im still trying to figure out
Why i used your toothbrush too clean off my bathroom grout
Oh and sometimes in private
I really like to dress myself up like Shirley Temple and spank myself with a Hockey Stick
My boss thinks im a jerk
I didnt get a raise
I havent changed my underwear in 27 days
And when im kissing you I fantasize you're a midget
Im so sorry Debbie....i mean...Bridgette

These are my confessions
Just when i thought i said all i could say
I got some more secrets id like to convey
These are my confessions
Slipped my mind
The last to times
Silly me, so now i gotta give you part 3
Of my confessions

Gave you Buttered Toast i dropped and picked up off the floor
FYI that was NOT a cold sore
Oops! My bad! But you'll be madder at me
When i finish you part 3
Of my confessions

You dont know how hard it is for me to tell you this. But remember that shirt you got me for my birthday? Well, i returned it for Store Credit. That thing was hideous...what were you thinking? Oh, and by the way, i wasn't really sick last week i just didnt want to go to your stupid office picnic. Oh and at breakfast when i told you we were all out of Rice Crispies what i meant was there was only enough left for me. Sorry....

These are my confessions
Just when i thought all i could say
I thought up of more things that should scare you away
These are my confessions
Slipped my mind
The last to times
Silly me, so now i gotta give you part 3
Of my confessions

Once i blew my nose and then i wiped it on my cat
And i lied yes that dress makes you look fat
Anyway i shouldnt say anymore
Until i give you part 4
Of my confessions

I mean, im just getting started here! Im not even halfway down the list. This thing could go on for...h-hey! Where are you goin'? Honey? What? Was it something i said? ugh...Women...