"Weird Al" Yankovic - Why Does This Always Happen To Me? [tekst, tłumaczenie i interpretacja piosenki]

I was watching my TV one night
When they broke in with a special report
About some devastating earthquake in Peru
There were 30,000 crushed to death
Even more were buried alive
On the Richter scale it measured 8.2
And I said "God, please answer me one question
Why'd they have to interrupt the Simpsons just for this?
What a drag, cause I was taping it and everything
Now I have to wait for the rerun
To see the part of the show I missed

Why does this always happen?
Why does this always happen to me?
Why does this always happen?
Why does this always happen to me?
Ba-ba-ba-ba (Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba)
Ba-ba-ba-ba (Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba)

I was driving down the highway
When all the traffic slowed to a crawl
There was a 12 car pile up: Everybody dead
And I saw brains and guts and vital organs splattered everywhere
As well as my friend Robert's disembodied head
And I thought "Oh, Rob. I just had lunch with him...
Hey, wait a minute, he still owes me money, what a jerk
Well there's 5 bucks im never gonna see again
Plus, on top of everything else, it looks like im gonna be late to work

Why does this always happen?
Why does this always happen to me?
Why does this always happen?
Why does this always happen to me?
Ba-ba-ba-ba (Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba)
Ba-ba-ba-ba (Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba)

Oh, the other day my boss said we were running low on toner
And he told me I should buy another case
Well I told him I was busy
But he still just kept on asking
So I turned around and stabbed him in the face
Oh and wouldn't ya know it: My knife got stuck
I guess thats probably bound to happen now and then
But im afraid I may have bent the tip a little
And I know that blade will never ever be quite as sharp again

Why does this always happen?
Why does this always happen to me?
Why does this always happen?
Why does this always happen to me?
Ba-ba-ba-ba (Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba)
Ba-ba-ba-ba (Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba)