The Adventures of Duane & BrandO - Dragon Warrior [tekst, tłumaczenie i interpretacja piosenki]

I'm gonna club you in the teeth with my bamboo stick
Dressed in leather with a shield, ancestor of Erdrick
On a quest to bring peace to the land that we're living in
On a mission to hit the Dragonlord with my fist
I've got a pocket full of herbs for when I'm powering up
Found Erdrick's Armor near the tree and punched a Wraith in the nuts
I learned a couple of magic tricks, you can call me Houdini
I saved the Princess like a motherfucker, barely competing
And now she's all over my ballsack like stink on shit
But I got more important things to do, so fuck that bitch
See you later, King Lorik, thanks for saving my state
Sorry I can't stay for dinner, but I'm gonna be late
The Dragon Warrior, baby, driving the ladies all crazy
Dudes wearing armor to spite me, they are all jealous they ain't me
I'm on a mission to kill, I'll punch a bitch in the grill
Cut every fucking finger off until he's begging, I will

I'm on my way to the motherfucking castle
With this new sword, gonna be fucking them up
Level 22 Master, fucking up bastards
With this steel ring that I found in the trunk
And nobody's gonna touch my style
So infantile, to think you'll be fucking with me
Gonna drink this forty, yo, throw some bows
Kick your ass into the tree
Bitch please, I'mma punch them shits, kick them shits
Use some Hurtmore on that bitch
Fuck yeah, I'mma wring they neck, put 'em in check
Then bust my damn chick
With this quarter pounder bro, make her moan
Send her ass fucking home
But right now I'mma grab that bitch
Hit them shits in the back with my fo' fo'

I'm going through the cave with a torch in my hand
Fighting off these motherfuckers like a man with a plan
I found a secret entrance way in the back of the throne
The stupid fucking Axe Knight better leave me alone
Or I'mma break his damn legs in three places, for real
Take his shit and hit his fucking torso with my shield
Oh, shit, I'm being stared at
Come here Wizard, now this time I'll fight back, I'll break that
Got this sword, you can fall down, cause, bitch, you're whack
Never thought my fucking ass'd make you die like that
Oh no, my torch went out, I gotta save my spells
Aw, what the hell
Radiant, I'm almost out anyway
Finally, I found the exit way to this maze
And now I'm approaching Dragonlord with some words to say
Somebody better dig him a grave, for real
(You ready, motherfucker? Well try this on for size, bitch!)

Punch to the face, kick to the shins
Use some Healmore, now let me begin
Yo, I'm deader than shit, it's only fair to warn
'Til you show your true form
Now I'm blocking and kicking, I can't fucking get it
I barely got any spells left
I thought I was winning
I guess I was forgetting the power of his fire breath
As I fall to the ground, I think of the town
How in the fuck could I let all these nice people down?