Well, I'm a super fighting robot from the year 2010
On a quest from Dr. Light to make the city safe again
See, all these robots were created to make the planet safe
'Til Dr. Wily double-crossed us and set fire to the place
Dr. Wily had other plans to take over this bitch
Reprogrammed my brother and stole all them shits
My name is Mega Man, on my jet-dog, Rush
Got a cannon arm for y'all to keep your mouths shut, c'mon!
We interrupt your program with terrible news
Dr. Light has been kidnapped by, guess who?
Dr. Wily, that's who! I'm coming after you, too! (Wrong!)
Hwahahahahahahah! You're doomed!
Thanks, Wily, it's not like I've got shit to do
Why not waste all of my energy fucking with you?
C'mon, Rush, we gotta go and save Dr. Light
And then teach Dr. Wily the wrong from the right, alright?
Hey bro, Proto Man here, so what's up?
I got eight of my buddies built for messing you up
But who cares? I wish I did, but I'm just not built for that, bro
I gotta fly, hope you're ready to go
(Choose carefully, you motherf-)
(No!)
(Aw, how come you gotta interrupt?)
(Nope.)
(Uh-uh.)
(Don't think so.)
If I'm gonna win, I have to upgrade my shit
Remember when I beat 'em to steal their power chips
Charge my power beam when I enter the room, and then
Boom, br-r-r-r-room boom, boom, b-boom, boom!
To the windows, to the wall
'Til the sweat drips from my balls
I'm beating you down to the fucking ground
I got a Mega Buster for y'all, c'mon!
Metal Man will rock your shit
You're hit, don't you forget it, bitch
Throw a saw blade into your face
Let's face it, you will taste my razor blades!
Um, whatever, you're the first boss, bitch
I don't even need a special power to take your shit
Yeah, you're right, I'm no big deal
One shot from my arm cannon, your power's a "steel" Dead!
I'm coming to get you, fucker! (Stop yourself)
Hey there, freak, these freakin' woods are mine
The name's Wood Man, have some freakin' leaves and vines
Bitch, I upgraded my cannon with some metal blades for ya
Fuck Mega Man, I'm the forest-a-destroyer!
You'll never get past my freakin' shield of leaves
Well I'm Mega Man, punk, don't you know me? Believe it!
I guess I'll just throw the freakin' thing at your ass
Jump over that shit, then your ass is grass
Dead!
Two down, six more to go
Beat you in a flash, bitch, there you-
Flash!
Uh...
You're a fool, Flash Man in the house and I'm breakin' the rules
No fair, frozen in the air
Time's on my side, no time to spare
'Bout to shoot these metal blades straight in your face
Put all of Wily's robots in their place
Leave you there so long you rust
When I'm done with you all that'll be left is dust
My time to shine, cause I'm better than most
The trendsetter with the blue suit, you're toast
Uh, I've got a blue suit, too?
At least I'm not as silly as you
I'm gonna throw this metal blade and cut a hole in your ass
Think I'll have my dog Rush take a picture of that
Dead!
My name is Bubble Man, and I've got something to say-
Dead!
(I'm not fuckin' with you)
Look up in the sky, it's a bird, it's a plane
It's Air Man, bitch, and I'm bringing the pain
I got a fan installed in my grill, no lie
I'm gonna blow your ass straight off the map, goodbye
Beat you, breathe you, make you CO2
Blow all you want, my leaf shield repels you
So blow me, phony, your whole act's balogna
You don't even pose a threat, I ain't fretting it, homie!
Shit! I'm as useless as Bubble Man!
Wow, that's fuckin' pathetic, my leaves jammed your fan
Dead!
I'll sneak up and hit you like a fucking tornado
Putting Crash Man in the trash can like yesterday's tomatoes
Crashing the party, it's Mega Man, baby (Mega Man's in the house)
(Quit messing around)
It's all gravy
I will fuck you up
I'm gonna fuck you up, Mega Man
You can't catch me (Totally total your ass, I ain't messing around)
I will throw a bomb, and then I will jump around
What's that sound I hear?
That shit's the wind and it's pulling you down
I'm Quick Man, dressed in red
I got a yellow boomerang attached to my head
Look, without the guilt, I'll fucking drink you in milk
For trying to destroy this planet we built
Oh, come on, Mega, don't be sour!
What I lack with speed, I make up for in power!
You can't touch my turbo skill!
With the Crash Bombs, I'm coming in for the kill
Dead!
Anyone got a light? I need a cigarette
Here you go, bro!
Bitch, you're gonna regret
One more boss, don't forget
I'd love to stay, but I've gotta jet!
'Sup, Heat Man, let's do this fast
My pussy-ass brother just bailed on your ass
It's time to blow bubbles, the bad kind, though
Don't get to close, I might blow
Who knows what flows from the earth? I do
I'm 'bout to spew red goo all over your shoes
I got a face for radio and a box for a suit
Capcom really didn't spend much time on you (Nope)
Check it out, I'm tired of you
I gotta get to Light before his time is through
I got my cannon ready and I got hunting to do!
I've got more hot than a cow has moo
I will burn you with my flame
Zippo is my middle name
I'm done fucking around, 8-bit clown
Here's a bubble, have fun six feet underground
Dead!
(I'm coming to get you, you German bastard!)
You will never make it through my fortress, Mega Man!
I'm taking over the world!
Wahahahahaha!
Shit, c'mon Rush, we've gotta make it through the castle
Over the ladder and make it to the battle
Dr. Light needs our help and the world needs his genius
Wily can suck a penis
J-j-jump over the roof, charge my cannon and shoot
Come and face me like a man, you old coot!
I'm tired of fighting robots and cleaning up your messes
I'm taking out the trash, it's time to learn a lesson
So come down to the ground, out of your spaceship
You ain't got the balls to be fucking with this shit
After I take you, I'll rip out your brain
They won't even remember your name, c'mon
You fuckin' meanie, you ten-pound weenie
To get the world, you'll have to go through me
My name is Mega Man, you can call me Rock
Cause I'll be rocking your shit up and down the block
Cause that's how we roll
(Need my help?) Nah
Get back in the kitchen, shit is under control
It's a man's world, baby, dont' be flashing your vag
Here's my backhand, bitch, you got a problem with that? (Ow!)
Saw-blade the Mecha Dragon, I just won't quit
Quick Boomerang the Guts Dozer, hit the switch
Mega Man, motherfucker, and I'm rockin' this bitch
Mega Man! You're right on time!
I will annihilate you once and for all! You're mine!
I'll shoot you down from the sky, you'll never take me alive
With these metal blades I'm packing, you'll die, that's no lie!
Join us, Mega Man, we could take over this place
Dominate the human race! Face it, you could always be replaced!
You old geezer, I'll take your old ass down any day
You'll never be as smart as Dr. Light is, anyway!
You're artificial, Mega Man, what do you care?
I'll tear the world apart without you, I hope you're prepared!
What the fuck, you're an alien? You gotta be kidding me!
Ya nutsack, don't fight back, I'll embarass you, E.T
Dr. Wily phone home! (I do love Reese's)
You're nothing but a thesis!
I'll blow you to pieces!
Check it out, here's my bubble
I'm done with you, crazy
Now get on your knees and cry like a lady
Dead!
(Your mother)
