[Verse 1]
[Duane Zuwala as Rash]
Battletoads!
I'm gonna hit you in the face with my big-ass fists
Cause we're the Battletoads, bitch, and we dont take no shit
Enemies step up and they get knocked the fuck out
Knocked the fuck out, so what the fuck's up now?
Punch a bird in the face, and use his mouth as a weapon
Ride a jet to the goal, and keep 'em all guessin'
[Brandon Lackey as Zitz]
How did they do that?
[Rash]
Do what?
[Zitz]
Get through that?
[Rash]
The place with the snakes?
[Zitz]
I don't know, shit
[Rash]
We're through that
We're coming with the force, and we'll be there soon
You can't stop us motherfucker, no matter what'cha do
[Hook: Rash & Zitz]
[Rash]
Cause we're the battletoads!
[Zitz]
We're the Battletoads!
[Rash]
What, what, what, what? We're the battletoads!
Representin', motherfucker, we're the battletoads
We told you, motherfuckers, better leave us alone!
[Zitz]
Messin' with the best and everyone knows
You never mess around with the Battletoads!
[Verse 2]
[Zitz]
Here we go!
[Rash]
Round Two!
What the hell ya gonna do?
When we take the enemy, and kick his ass to the moon
See I beat the ice zone with precision
Surfed on the river like a man on a mission
Destroyed the enemies, and left them all bitchin'
[Zitz]
I'm so hungry, I could eat a whole kitchen!
[Rash]
See, the fucking Ninja Turtles ain't got shit on this
Whoop their ass, introduce them to my fist!
I may be warty, but I got some skill
I got a bitchin' armband and a license to kill!
[Hook: Rash & Zitz]
[Rash]
Cause we're the battletoads!
[Zitz]
We're the Battletoads!
[Rash]
What, what, what, what? We're the battletoads!
Representin', motherfucker, we're the battletoads
We told you, motherfuckers, better leave us alone
[Zitz]
Messin' with the best and everyone knows
You never mess around with the Battletoads!
[Rash & Zitz]
Do do do do de do do de do do do doooo...
[Zitz]
Jazz Hands!
[Rash]
Jazz Hands!
[Bridge]
[Brandon Lackey as Professor T-Bird]
Professor T-Bird, with an assignment for you
It looks like Princess Angelica and Pimple are doomed
Unless you hurry, hurry, hurry, go and rescure them soon
Show the Dark Queen the meaning of what it is we do
[Rash]
Here we go now!
[Verse 3]
[Rash]
We're gonna break out like a skin disease
To save Pimple and the Princess, from the Dark Queen
I'm tellin' ya right now Professor T
There ain't nobody gonna fuck with me
Make my way through the stage with my fists of rage
Just stay the fuck outta my way, okay?
See I'm very pissed off, it's a fucked up day and in a fucked up way
[Zitz]
I'm gonna mess up ya face!
[Rash]
I'll take the bitches on the right, you take the left
[Zitz]
No
[Rash]
Kick their ass to the moon, make their ass retarded!
Break through their forces with style, too
You'll be asking yourself
[Zitz]
What'd I get myself into?
[Rash]
We're coming to the rescue like Heroes do
When we make it to the Queen and I'll cunt punch her too
We're the Battletoads, bitch, you better watch your back
I'm gonna lay you out flat like a heart attack!
[Zitz]
For Sure!
[Rash]
Down to the right, up to the left
Bring on them holes, bitch it ain't no contest
I'm dodgin' and weavin', barely competin'
Ride on the ramp and crash through the ceiling
[Zitz]
Wooo!
[Rash]
There's a hole in the floor!
[Zitz]
Watch it!
[Rash]
Jump over it, it ain't there anymore
I'm coming through, y'all better know your role
'Til the Dark Queen ain't the Dark Queen no more
'Til my Bro'ham ain't kidnapped no more
[Zitz]
'Til we find the princess, and tag team that whore
[Rash]
Yeah bring on the rat and whoop that motherfucker like BOOM!
[Verse 4]
[Zitz]
We're on our way to the Dark Queen's Lair
You better prepare, because we're almost there
Put her in a state of disrepair
She's already imparied!
[Zitz & Rash]
And when we enter the battle
Think twice, watch what you're doing
One mistake that we make, and
Pimple and the Princess are doom!
And don't come over to my side
I'm left, you are on the right
I hope she puts up a fight
Because Battletoads are bringing the boom!
[Ashleigh Zuwala as The Dark Queen]
What the fuck are you doing here, Battletoads?
I will destroy you!
You can't hit me, I'm a woman!
[Rash]
I realize you're a woman, but I really don't care
You're gonna have to tell the Doctor you fell down the stairs
You're gonna need them sunglasses for them black eyes, whore
I been drinkin' since breakfast, I don't care anymore!
[Zitz]
Spinnin' round in circles, kickin' me, wearing me down
If I was a Ninja Turtle, I would be dead by now
But I got skills beyond recognition
A fist in your ass!
That's what you get for fucking around with Zitz and Rash!
[The Dark Queen]
Sorry! I'm so so Sorry!
[Rash]
Hey Zitz! Check it out I got a Baseball bat!
It's my Louisville woman-beatin' whackamasmack!
This damn crack's got me hungry, lets go get us a snack
So we can eat after this gangbang and take a nap!
Yeah!
[Zitz]
Sounds good Rash, but where the hell did you get a bat?
This game doesn't have bats, lay off of the crack!
[Rash]
Shiiiiiiiit
[Zitz]
Why are we even rescuring this worn-out whore?
I say we take Pimple out, that way both of us score!
[Rash & Zitz]
HIGH FIVE!
