The Adventures of Duane & BrandO - The Carpet is Lava [tekst, tłumaczenie i interpretacja piosenki]

Get your ass in the kitchen
Do what you is told
The sink is full of dishes
The tub is full of mold
I have no clean underwear
I have to think of more chores
Get your ass on your knees with a toothbrush and scrub my fucking floors

(Duane... Dude, what the fuck are you doing?)
(How many times do I have to tell you, dude? You're doing it all wrong.)

You gotta do her like this:
Kick her in the face, in the jaw
Kick that bitch 'til you can't kick no more
Then you do a little jig like this
(Like this?)
Then you hit her in the mouth with your fist
(With my fist!)

Aw, shit!
BrandO said knock you out
I'm about to show you what it's all about
I'll throw a motherfucking shoe (That's right)
And then I'll tell her what to fucking do (Uh-huh)
She loves the abuse, don't let her lie to you
A woman ain't nothing but a thing to screw

(Hey, guys, I brought the game with me- ...What the fuck?)

I'm gonna call the cops
You can't hit a woman like that
You gotta buy 'em flowers
Where's my baseball bat?

Let's put his ass in the trunk
Take him to the river, then dump this punk

(911, what's your emergency?)
They hit me in the face
They hit me in the jaw
I'm sorry, but I had no one else to call
They threw a fucking shoe at me and broke my nose
My eye's puffing like a motherfucking crescent roll
When they headed outside, I locked the door
I had to drag my lifeless body all across the floor
I'm bleeding real bad and I've got two black eyes
(Bitch, you should probably listen better next time)